I refuse to labor today. Therefore I didn't work on this post much. IT IS MY RIGHT AS AN AMERICAN.

It's Labor Day! Our nation's most ironically-titled holiday. Hooray!

As it's Labor Day, I really should celebrate by not-laboring. So someone else really should come over here and do my laundry, dishes, housecleaning, and write today's blog entry, so I'd be free to finish the book I've been reading for two weeks, watch a little television, and make my lunch appointment without rushing around like a maniac. WHY AREN'T YOU ALL JUMPING IN TO VOLUNTEER. This is a fantastic opportunity.

Fine. 

Let's talk about things that are upsetting. How is this different from what I do on any other day? IT ISN'T.

First: True Blood.

(spoilers, so if you're not up on, and caught up to, last night's episode, skip ahead. Or just read, because you know what? IT ISN'T WORTH YOUR TIME.)

True Blood was one of my favorite things when it first came out. I'd read the series; other than the silliness quotient (rather high at times), it was entertaining and enjoyable. Season One was one of the best shows on television. Alan Ball, I was convinced, could do no wrong. Yes, Sookie was a complete numbskull and Bill annoyed the piss out of me, but the cast of supporting characters was amazing enough that you could ignore the two of them and just daydream about Pam and Eric when they were on doing their "Sookeh! Beeel!" bullshit and all was well.

Season Two was a crapfest, and no one understood really what was going on there. Orgies! All the time! So many orgies! Bloody orgies with old people whose bodies were not enjoyable to look upon! Supporting cast was still fun, but the orgy thing (which I'm pretty sure was Alan Ball thinking, "People? They like the nudity! Let's have lots! Plot? Eh. Whatever") was exhausting. 

Season Three was better - not back to the glory that was Season One, but better.

And now we're in Season Four, and it is not only a crapfest, it is an ENTIRE CRAP ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT-BUFFET. Witches - which aren't a bad idea - have taken over the plot. And they are ridiculously stupid and the plot is poorly written with holes you could pilot the Titanic through and none of the previously saving-grace supporting characters are even acting like they're supposed to and are being given enough screen time because IT'S ALL ABOUT THE EFFING WITCHES. Someone asked me if they should watch an episode they had DVR'd and I told them the best thing I had to say about the episode was that Jessica's hair was shiny and sometimes Jason was funny, a little. And that was being kind, because Jessica's hair wasn't that shiny and Jason wasn't that funny. Alan Ball checked OUT for this season. It is AWFUL. An example: last night, the witches were attempting to kill all the vampires (as they have in almost every episode this season.) Sookie didn't want this to happen so she decided to use her magical fairy hands to stop them and flashed the witches with fairy light. OK, fine. But the head witch got angry and put Sookie in a ring of flames that kept moving in closer to her as punishment, attempting to kill her. Sookie - whose magical hands can restore memory, erase curses, knock people off their feet, etc. - just stood there, whining for help, crying out for "Beeel! Eric!" over and over, and not doing anything to help herself. OK, so you're able to save all the vampires one second, but unable to save yourself immediately after? Why is that, exactly? Pam asked Eric and Bill why they were going to risk the entire vampire race for "a gash in a sundress" last night and I completely agree (and I heart Pam because apparently she is the only voice of reason in the entire town.) Seriously? Sookie has NO PERSONALITY. She just sits there looking pretty, puts out, and once and a while yells at people and has fairy hands. Wow. Totally one-in-a-million! Unfortunately, the fire did not kill her, so we're still dealing with her nonsense and whining and inability to choose between lovers and whatnot.

Also, they FINALLY killed off the head witch, who has been the most annoying character alive for the entire season, and then BROUGHT HER BACK TEN MINUTES LATER. Alan Ball! I kind of want to punch you in the throat right now.

Next: J.C. Penney.

Last week, J.C. Penney - totally on the pulse of fashion! - came out with this shirt for children and teens:

The tagline on the website read: "Who has time for homework when there's a new Justin Bieber album out? She'll love this tee that just as cute and sassy as she is."

After Twitter went utterly and completely bugshit over it, J.C. Penney discontinued the shirt, but the point is - IT MADE IT ONTO THE WEBSITE. This was marketed to young girls.

If it didn't result in so many people being furious at the store, I'd assume J.C. Penney (who, let's face it, really isn't super-hip or buzzed about at the moment) had done this in a trolly, "it will get people talking and any publicity is good publicity" way. And maybe they did? They seem like they're run by old people. And maybe old people think "Oh, the Tweeter! We have to get people Twitting about us on the Tweeter. This will do it!" I don't know. It doesn't seem like this could be for real, does it? I mean, this looks like a joke t-shirt. Like something you'd see on a super-ironic hipster, or a homeless person who found it in a dumpster.

We had Teen Talk Barbie in the 90's with her "Math class is tough!" and we have Maggie Goes on a Diet coming out in October which is rumored to encourage our teenage girls right into eating disorders and, in real life, we had my freshman year science teacher, when I had trouble understanding a concept and had asked for further help with it, telling me not to bother - "Girls don't have a brain that's wired to understand science" and my Physics teacher, a few years later, telling me a variant on the same thing: "Physics is for boys; it's ok that you didn't do as well on the test, because you're a girl, and physics is too hard for girls."

Stand still, young girls. Look pretty, young girls. Be quiet, young girls. Smile big, young girls. Don't fight, young girls. Don't try, young girls. Don't worry, young girls. Be perfect, young girls. Be nothing, young girls. Be empty, young girls. Don't bother, young girls.

Young women of the world: society is going to continue to put you down. It is up to you to fight that. Guess what? You are just as capable as a young man of doing well in school. You are just as capable as a young man of doing well in stereotypically MALE courses - math, science, computer science, effing WOOD SHOP, if that still even exists? - as a young man. Until we no longer accept things like this, they will keep happening.

Also, Justin Bieber? Really? Sigh.

Now, to balance out the negative: two things that are shiny-awesome:

First: hope for a new generation.

Banned Book week is fast approaching, and we'll discuss that more when it gets here, but I found this the other day and it just made my heart soar.

There are kids who are making a difference out there. There are kids like this one who are running an illegal banned-book library out of an empty school locker. (And, even better? She didn't include Twilight in her secret library. You know, because it isn't literature. I love this kid.) She's probably going to get caught, but you know what? She did it. She believed in something and she did something about it. This kind of kid is the reason I don't completely despair about the state of society. Her parents are raising her right, too. I don't want kids? But I'd want this one.

Second: Red State.

As mentioned in the past, I'm a huge Kevin Smith fan. His new movie, Red State, is out on VOD this week, so last night, when I couldn't sleep, I rented it and watched it.

It's not a typical Kevin Smith movie, first off. There are Kevin Smith touches - dialogue is dense, well-written and crisp; monologues are typical Smith (which some people might hate, and he can be a bit heavy-handed, but I love them); camera work is beautiful (which may not as much be Smith as the cinematographer? I have a theater background where it's all the director, so I'm not sure.) 

It's not a comedy, though. I'll try not to be too spoilery, but if you want to remain completely spoiler-free, probably go to your barbecue now?

At heart, it's a thriller. Three boys are lured into a cult-like fanatic religion and the ATF shows up on rumors of automatic weaponry being amassed. It's upsetting. Really, really upsetting. Bloody and gory-upsetting, yes, but crazy fanatacism upsetting, which I find scarier any day than clowns or zombies or creepy children jumping out from behind things with knives.

The cult leader is based on that nutbar Phelps from the Westboro Baptist Church (but ISN'T him, as Phelps is actually mentioned by one of the law-enforcement officers.) And if you think Phelps hates homosexuality...wait until you meet this guy. You might think it's over-the-top - but it's not, not really. There are people like this. And that's horrifying. It frightened me to the point of tears.

The violence is realistic and very bloody. If you have an issue with that, don't watch it. There's a little humor, but not much. Lots of stars - Kevin Alejandro from True Blood, John Goodman, Melissa Leo, Kevin Pollack, apparently Marc Blucas but I never saw him or recognized him, Kyle Gallner from Veronica Mars, Stephen Root, Betty Aberlin from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, Jennifer Schwalbach. 

It wasn't what I was expecting at all - but it was very powerful. And very upsetting. I recommend it. But don't go into it expecting it to be like anything you've seen from Kevin Smith before.

Happy Labor Day, all! Enjoy the day off. Barbecues! Alcoholic beverages! End of summer! Last day for white pants! (I can't imagine even owning white pants. That would be such a mistake. Can you IMAGINE the things I would spill on them? Disaster! Waiting to happen!)

Every Time You Speak to Me You Tell Me What to Do

About a week and a half ago, The Huffington Post featured a post in its culture section by Peg Aloi entitled "Tough Gals: Do They Still Exist?" This article was pointed out to me last night by one of my friends. Where was I on August 11th? How did this particular article escape me for 9 days? I know I worked that day, and I'm guessing I had rehearsal that night, because that's pretty much been my life for the past month or so. I do remember seeing mentions on Twitter over the past week, women saying that they were cupcake-baking, knitting, kick-ass women, but I didn't know it related to anything in particular. I just thought they were giving their own personal credo, or something. And they are kick-ass women, so I approved of that message.

Although I'd like to not give Ms. Aloi any additional traffic, I do encourage you to click above and read the article. If you'd rather not, for one reason or another, here's a brief summary:

Women who blog about cupcakes, Hello Kitty, gardening, knitting, and cats are girly. Not that there's anything wrong with the blogs...but there's something wrong with being girly. Because we're women! And we shouldn't be girly! We should be badass! Feminists who came before us fought hard for that right, and we're throwing it away with these girly pursuits! We've "lost sight of what it means to be a badass, tough, strong woman"! Women aren't having fun - instead, we like cooking, Jane Austen, and heirloom tomatoes! We've "become complacent"! "We're not tough anymore; we're soft"!

Oh, for the love of Sanrio.

Listen. LISTEN. We've talked about this, here, on my blog, in the past. Women telling us what to do and what to feel and who to be because the author knows the right way to do these things, under the guide of feminism. Because the author is the arbiter of womanhood. Because there's a mold, and women should fit that mold, and if they don't, they're lesser - lesser human beings, lesser women, lesser examples of shining femaleness than the author herself.

I AM SO GODDAMN TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHO TO BE.

Men, sorry to leave you out, here, and I'm sure you face societal pressure up the wazoo as well, but as I am not in possession of a Y chromosome, I don't know what those are, exactly. This is not meant to slight you. I'd be interested, actually, in reading a post about the type of societal pressures a young man faces; if someone wants to point me in the direction of a good one, it would be appreciated.

Women, from a young age, are told how to act in order to fit society's norms. There are exceptions, but overall, even in this day and age, there are toddlers in frilly dresses and bows scotch-taped onto the bald heads of baby girls for photo day and the moniker "tomboy" (usually said either with a sneer or a knowing nod.) As we get older, more expectations. Makeup. What to wear. How to act. At what age to start dating. What's appropriate and what's weird. The list goes on; I'm sure the women reading this can think of a million examples in their own life where they wanted to be doing one thing but were gently (or not-so-gently) nudged in another direction because it wasn't "cool" enough or "girly" enough or whatever enough to fit in the very strict lines that were drawn by whoever draws these things.

But as we grow up, we realize things, like being who we are is more fulfilling than making other people like us, and that there's nothing at all wrong with, say, watching Vh1 Celebreality all day rather than shopping or getting a mani-pedi or whatever it is the "cool" kids are doing. We're not here to please anyone but ourselves, when we get older. And that's a nice feeling, you know? It's a feeling I'd like to be able to go back and bestow upon the teenage me, who was always scrambling to keep up with what was expected of her and failing miserably and very unhappy in the bargain.

But then you get women like Julie Klausner telling us that we're too infantilized if we like Converse sneakers, cupcakes, Etsy jewelry, or birds, and Peg Aloi telling us that we're not tough if we like knitting, gardening, Hello Kitty, or, again, cupcakes. (Why so much cupcake hate? Do these women equally hate sheet cakes? Who hates cake? I feel like hating cake = hating America, honestly.)

These women are just grown-up versions of the bitches in high school who set the trends. The Plastics, really. The Wednesdays-We-Wear-Pink girls. The girls who arbitrarily decide "on this side of the line is what's cool, and on this side of the line is what's not, and I'll tell you how high you have to jump and how hard you have to beg to be on the right side of the line." And do you know how to tell they're bitches? Because they're telling you you're not good enough. They're making you feel less-than. They're telling you, "Listen, if you like this, this, and this? You don't measure up."

I don't want to be in your Special People Club.

It doesn't make you less tough if you knit, bake, or garden. The article actually contradicts itself all over the place - Aloi will make a blanket statement like "Tough girls don't knit because that's what our foremothers did!" and then couch it with "But man our foremothers, right? Whoo! They were certainly tough, you know, in their own way!" Why are the two mutually exclusive? Why can't you be a badass tough-as-nails mofo AND make a mean cupcake?

Because Aloi SAYS SO.

There are currently 326 comments under her article. I didn't read them all - I actually do have a life, sorry to disappoint! - but have read a large number of them, and the themes running through them are:

• Screw you, Peg Aloi, you judgmental hag.
• Why can't you kick-ass and knit?
• What the hell?
• This isn't the 1800's. We aren't *required* to knit now. It's a *choice* we make.
• I kind of want to stab you with my knitting needles.
• You know what's awesome? Feminist women telling others how to behave.

And do you know what's missing? Ms. Aloi. She hasn't made a PEEP. She is GONE. Just like Julie Klausner, who, to the best of my knowledge, dropped that load-of-shit article on us back in June and never commented on the fury it ignited, Ms. Aloi hasn't responded in the least.

Now, I'm not saying she has to. She has the right to her own opinion. It would be hypocritical of me to say I can't stand women telling me how to behave and then turn around and tell Ms. Aloi how to do so.  On some level, I almost, almost, think I get, in a tiny way, what she might have been trying to say. Because listen, girly-girl giggly shit sets my teeth on edge, too. Feigned helplessness. Doe-eyed false childishness. But that's never mentioned, so I assume that's not what she's referring to, and what I take objection to in these behaviors is that the women using them are pretending to be something they're not because they think that's how they have to act in order to get what they want - a man, a promotion, taken care of, etc. (And yes, I realize I'm being a little hypocritical - I tell people they're doing douchey things on here all the time, and even in judging these type of women, that's doing something I'm calling her out for. Thing is, I have a blog that doesn't have a fraction of the readership that The Huffington Post does, and I'd like to think that I wouldn't make a blanket statement like "knitters= weak women so go out and learn to shoot a gun instead" at all without my tongue planted firmly in my cheek. And "pretending you're helpless to 'catch' a man" is very different than "baking cupcakes = weak", no?) 

Here's what it all boils down to, for me. First, being tough is not measured by your leisure activities. Toughness is a state of mind and is reflected in how you react to situations, I think. Am I alone in this? Second, being a bully does not make you tough. Being a bully is actually one of the biggest signs of weakness a person can show. And what Ms. Aloi is doing in this article is bullying. She's bullying women into thinking they are not good enough, that their pasttimes are an affront to womanhood, that they are weak and small and unimportant and childlike because they like traditionally domestic activities.

Personally? I bake a mean cupcake (although my cookies are to die for - seriously, if you've had my Double Dark Chocolate Chunk Espresso Cookies, you know, I am the queen of cookies), I'm wearing a Hello Kitty band-aid RIGHT NOW (honestly, it's because there was this kickass sale a while back and I got a ton of boxes of kiddie band-aids for free so that's all there is in the house at the moment), I can't garden, I hate tomatoes (both heirloom and regular), I love my cats, I can cook enough to keep myself fed, I like Jane Austen but am not in love with her, and I can't knit. But I can crochet. Like a madwoman. And I'm a badass crocheter. I mean, I can make CLOTHES. I've made WHOLE BLANKETS. I'm very, very good at it.

I'm also tough. And no one telling me I'm not, based on my habits and activities, is able to take that away from me. I'm secure in the knowledge of my strength. Bigger bullies than you, Ms. Aloi, have worked me over, sorry to say. You're small-time.

If you're not secure in your own inner strength, Ms. Aloi, don't try to pass that off onto the rest of us. That's not very tough of you. And as for women who aren't having enough "fun" - well, I'm glad you're the fun police? What a nice title to have! But please let me be the judge of what's enjoyable in my own life.

Women - if you take anything away from this, please let it be this. You are good enough. You are amazing. You are just who you are meant to be; you love what you are meant to love; and anyone who tells you that you are not good enough, and that you don't measure up, and that your behaviors and the things you enjoy are not acceptable? IS AN ASSHOLE AND A BULLY. People like this should not be in your life. They are emotional vampires. They will take away your inner strength and use it to prop themselves up because they don't have any of their own. You are the only person who can stop this behavior; you are the only person who can say, "No, you know what? I don't accept this treatment, I deserve better than this" and get gone, either by removing them or removing yourself. 

I'm not telling you how to act; I'm not bullying you; I'm just saying your personal net worth is immeasurable, and you can't even imagine the weight that's lifted the moment you realize that.

(Side note - research on Peg Aloi tells me that she teaches at a college here in the town where I live. So, that's fun. And maybe when I'm buying groceries I'm rubbing elbows with her! Good gracious I hope I'm not buying heirloom tomatoes OH THE HUMANITY. Don't worry, I'm not. I hate tomatoes.)

(Title's from a Cranberries song - "A Fast One.")